MANAGING PEOPLE AND THEIR EMOTIONS I
“When one educate themselves to communicate, they learn how to deal with a multitude of types of people” – Throne Shellman
People are all that look like us in this world; the best we can do is live at peace and in understanding.
Man is an emotional being; made with an ability to feel different things even at the same time. Man can be hurt, sad, happy, overwhelmed with joy, depressed and even suicidal. Our emotions form a platform of relation with others around us.
The emotions of people are going to differ from yours at a given point in time.
You will only find people who feel exactly the way you feel on some occasions; hence, the need to learn proper communication and relating skills. There are a few points to consider when relating to people.
Sensitivity covers the bulk of our communication. It is a mode of picking signals from people around us. How does my neighbour feel today? – will only receive an answer when we are sensitive enough.
We must learn to scan the moods of people at every given time before giving a response.
When you see someone moody, or in tears, it is not time to crack a joke that may be expensive; especially when you are not sure of how the person will take it. We will consider three categories of people and how we should react towards them
People you meet newly
We meet people every day, and this helps us make friends and form bonds.
However, when you meet people you must be sure to act the right way.
- Take note of the nature of the person. Does this person enjoy your company? Is this person outspoken? Does this person feel comfortable with the issue you are discussing?
People have very different ways of reacting to people they meet for the first time. While some may be happy to socialize, some may prefer not to, and some will be very selective.
If you meet a selective person for the first time, it’s okay to ask what they like talking about.
- Don’t probe or ask too many questions. It is impossible to know someone in just day.
Let the conversation flow. You don’t have to be too inquisitive about their private life. Raise intellectual discussions. Talk about the conditions that brought you together. Notice when they are getting uncomfortable with the conversation or when their response is not coming as it used to.
- Don’t be pushy. Some people may not want to keep contact with you after your first meeting, and that’s just fine. Have a nice conversation and let them be.
2. People you meet consistently
There are people we will see every day at work, school, or the market. It is very common that we get used to people and forget that new days come with new emotions.
Don’t be rigid in the way you relate, be open to such changes.
Someone you converse with on a daily basis may not be interested in having a conversation on some days and that’s just fine.
- Keep communication official and friendly. You can have conversations about the things that you have in common, while telling a few stories and jokes. Respect their boundaries and know what to do.
With time, you may observe what other things they like to talk about and what other things you have in common.
3. People you are related to
Most times, we neglect the feelings of family members, because we are very close to them.
That your sister or brother may have days that are not too friendly. That may not be the time to talk about some available work or business.
Learn to address the problems of your relatives’ first people first. Ask how they do before initiating a conversation. Don’t assume they are doing okay and need no help.
As mentioned earlier, there are no direct rules. Being sensitive helps us be open to people and enables us to offer help and counsel in the right direction.
Sensitivity forms the bulk of our relationship with people and we cannot afford to ignore it.
As you step out daily, begin to reflect your sensitivity to people’s situations and watch your bonding become better.