Even the best of relationships run into problems sometimes. You’re both tired from work, the kids are in trouble at school, or your in-laws are getting on your last nerve…you know how it goes.
Life throws many challenges at a relationship, from relocation to redundancy to illness. No wonder problems arise in even the strongest relationships.
To keep a relationship running smoothly, it is important to solve marriage problems before they snowball into bigger relationship problems.
When Do Relationships Start To Have Common Relationship Problems?
For some, however, that phase of love eventually fades. As time passes and both parties of the relationship make their fair share of mistakes, what was once intoxicating becomes intolerable.
Couples’ common relationship issues are minor and can easily be avoided with mutual effort, understanding and respect. Although bumps along the path of marriage are unavoidable, if you know them beforehand, you can overcome them without leading your relationship to the verge of collapse.
None of us is perfect, nor will we be the same on every level.
Some character flaws, on the other hand, will be natural and acceptable. But if there are behaviours, perhaps a little lie here or an indiscretion there, it’s essential to consider that on a grander scale as the relationship progresses.
Is that an ongoing problem you want to work through continually, or does that constitute a deal-breaker? Something to consider.
Causes Of Common Relationship Issues
What can destroy a relationship?
Many of the problems couples come to me for seem to stem from issues that either cause or intensify their problems. But once couples learn how to address these two issues, everything else also starts falling into place.
Check out these causes of common relationship issues or issues behind relationship problems before understanding ways to solve common relationship problems:
One of the fastest ways to create unhappiness and instability in a relationship is through disappointment. And very few things create disappointment as quickly as unmet expectations.
But, there are typically two common relationship problems with expectations in a relationship:
- unrealistic expectations
- unclear expectations
Often, couples struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they are unrealistic. Understanding that our expectations often derive from other people, past experiences, beliefs, or internal values is important. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are sometimes very toxic to our relationship.
Alternatively, couples sometimes struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they don’t know what the other one expects from them or in their relationship.
Now, maybe you are pretty certain about what YOU expect from your relationship and your partner, but that doesn’t mean that your partner can read your mind, which means they most likely have no clue what you expect.
If you want to avoid unhappiness in your relationship, you must be very clear about your expectations and share those with your partner.
If, in doing so, you come to realize that some of your expectations might be slightly unrealistic or even impossible to meet, you might want to review where that expectation comes from and what is more important – being unrealistic or being happy.
One of the most common relationship issues that couples face is communication. There is often a complete absence of communication, constant miscommunication, or poor communication.
The end result is almost always frustration, unhappiness, and unmet needs. The root cause of the communication issue is often in “interpretation.”
You misunderstand what the other person is saying and spend too much time and energy arguing a point your partner never intended. It’s a futile exercise. It is, therefore, essential to fully comprehend what your partner is trying to say.
Also, if you’re the one talking, it’s important to ensure you’re communicating clearly and exactly what you mean so your partner can understand. You need to recognize the fact that their perspective is not the same as yours.
Their experiences, points of view, and even baggage are not the same as yours. But good communication demands empathy. It’s to see the world through their eyes as much as possible and then treat them the way that you would treat yourself.
3. Unsupportive partner
Another common relationship problem occurs when a partner is unsupportive of goals and interests. In a relationship, you want to treat your partner like they can be whatever they want.
You want them to follow their dreams and will do anything you can to help support them along the way – and you expect the same in return!
One of the most common relationship problems couples will admit to is troubles in the relationship with finances. Not having enough money or not knowing how to split your financial burdens, loss of jobs, a lack of money, poor money management, debt, and overspending, are all common issues that can pressure relationships.
Discuss your finances when your relationship gets serious, and be honest about any debt you may have. Rely on one another if money gets tight and never stop communicating.
5. Cheating And Other Forms Of Infidelity
Cheating is a huge issue in relationships today. The internet has made all forms of cheating as simple as downloading an app. Sexting, emotional affairs, porn, sneaking around, and physical relationships with someone other than your romantic partner are all huge issues that damage relationships, sometimes irreversibly.
Infidelity is a hard subject to broach with your romantic partner. Still, it is in the best interest of your relationship to let your partner know when you are emotionally or physically checking out.
You owe it to yourself to give your relationship another shot. Get your issues out in the open with date nights or regular honest communication, or seek couples counselling to help mend your relationship.
6. Not Enough Time Spent Alone
Some of the common relationship problems involve not spending enough time alone together. This is especially true for couples who have children. You sometimes feel more like roommates than romantic partners between work and family obligations.
This is because you have stopped ‘dating’ one another. Such circumstances can make a romantic partner feel unappreciated, unattractive, and emotionally frustrated.
Call your favourite babysitter and establish a child-free date night once a week with your spouse. This allows you to reconnect as a couple instead of as parents. Go on dates and treat one another like you’re still trying to woo each other.
Boredom is a common problem in long-term relationships. Being with the same person for many years can take the ‘spark’ out of your union. You may also feel you have outgrown one another. Don’t despair or give up.
You can reverse this feeling by finding new ways to connect with your partner. Look for new things to do together, such as travel or take up a hobby. This will help you bond over something fun and exciting.
8. Sexual Intimacy
As the years go by and your relationship becomes seasoned, there will likely be a point where your sexual flame will dim. There could be a multitude of reasons why your or your sex partners have dwindled, but no matter what the cause is, this decrease in sexual intimacy tends to cause common relationship issues.
To avoid such problems, there are a few important things that you should consider:
- As you spend more and more time with someone, sex becomes predictable. In most cases, the more predictable the sex, the less fun it is. Think about your favourite movie for a second. When you first saw it, you were enthralled. You watched it over and over again, enjoying every viewing.
But after seeing the same plotline play out 10, 20, or 30 times, you only pulled it out for special occasions. Your sex life is just like that favourite movie. So, spice things up. Your favourite movie’s plotline is set in stone. The plotline between you and your spouse’s sexual experience can change whenever you want.
Get creative, get ambitious, and understand it’s not the other person’s fault. It’s just that although you enjoy having sex, it’s the same thing repeatedly. Try something new today.
- Your expectations for your sex life may be a bit unrealistic. As your sex life loses steam, you likely are replacing more love and appreciation in the void left behind. Instead of harping on the lack of sex, you’re having, take a moment and be grateful for the person you get to lay your head down next to.
9. The Anger Habit
The anger habit soon gets ingrained, and you spend much time fighting with your partner before you know it.
Think about it – if someone is angry and shouting at you, how likely are you to listen carefully and look for a solution?
Most people, understandably, react to anger with either anger or fear.
10. Not Consulting Each Other
Let your partner know they are your priority by consulting them before you make decisions.
Big decisions like taking a new job or moving to a new city are obvious life choices that should be discussed with your spouse.
But don’t forget to include them in smaller decisions such as who picks up the kids tonight, making plans with friends for the weekend, or whether you eat dinner together or grab something for yourself.