How to Keep a Phone Conversation Going with Your Girlfriend – 3 Tips To Having A Long Conversation With Your Partner
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It can be difficult to maintain a phone conversation with your girlfriend, especially if you’re not used to talking on the phone for long periods.
Without visual cues like body language and facial expression, it can be challenging to know how to react. It can also be challenging to come up with conversational topics when you don’t feel like you have much to say.
However, talking to your girlfriend does not have to be a nerve-wracking experience. Armed with some knowledge and a positive outlook, you might even come to look forward to it.
Things You Should Know
Open-ended questions are best; you should follow up on anything she says. Inform her of amusing events from your day, engage in gossip, and make plans with her.
Actively listen so you can comprehend and relate to everything she says. Reflect her feelings to her and respond in an uncritical manner.
Be supportive by asking for updates on things she’s mentioned before, but don’t offer solutions unless she asks; validate her feelings.
Method1: Finding Things to Talk About
1. The key to maintaining a conversation with anyone—your girlfriend, your grandfather, the kid next door—is to ask lots of open-ended questions. People generally like to talk about themselves, so most people will enter if you open that door to conversation. Avoid questions with a yes-or-no response, and try to ask more open-ended ones. Instead of barraging her with interview questions, the goal is to ask natural conversation starters.
- How was her day? It makes sense to start here. Many automatically reply, “Fine, thanks,” without thinking when asked, “How was your day?” Probably nothing will come of this. Try asking a slightly more direct question, such as, “Did you do anything interesting today?” or “Did you make it to work before that storm started this morning?” Even though it might not produce anything particularly interesting, it will ease you both into the discussion.
- Inquire about shared acquaintances and interests. You and your girlfriend probably have a variety of interests in common. This is an excellent way to start a conversation while framing the topic as a question. Ask her about the most recent episode of a TV show you both enjoy, whether she recently read an interview with one of your favourite authors or has seen anyone in particular.
- Request assistance or guidance. When your girlfriend needs it, it’s important to lend her a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on. However, if she thinks you never need anything from her in return, she might feel like a burden. Nobody wants to date a helpless robot with no emotions. If there are no problems, don’t create them, but if there are, don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and ask her for help or support.
- Ask what she wanted to be when she grew up at 7. This is a bit of an unusual question. It will show her that you are interested in learning more about her and give you some new perspective.
2. Share an anecdote from your day. Tell her about any amusing or fascinating things that happened to you today. When you do this, it can be simple to rely too heavily on complaints about annoying situations, so watch out that you are not just rattling off complaints.
3. Make or discuss plans. Think of enjoyable activities you two could do this week. If you’ve already made arrangements, mention how thrilled you are to attend the concert or a review you’ve read of the play you’re going to. She will feel valued and encouraged, which will also help her become excited.
4. Share your goals and aspirations. You don’t want to monopolize the conversation, but no one likes to date a person with no ambitions. Tell her about some of your hopes and dreams.
5. Gossip. This should only make up a small portion of your conversation, and you should avoid getting too harsh or personal, but if you find yourself stuck, this can be a good backup plan. Not many people can refrain from engaging in gossip occasionally.
6. Follow up. She will know you are interested if you ask her to elaborate on something she just said. Additionally, it will prevent you from thinking of a new topic immediately by extending the amount of mileage you can get from that particular subject.
Method2: Listening Empathetically
1. Try to understand her: Active listening and reflective listening are other names for empathy. It describes a listening and responding style that prioritizes understanding the person speaking to you. The most crucial conversational skill you can develop is possibly this one.
This will not only make communication with your girlfriend easier and more natural, but it will also increase her trust in you, make her feel indeed seen and heard, and bring the two of you closer together.
2. Focus on her: There should be an equal amount of room for conversation in a healthy relationship. Having said that, there may be times when one of you requires more care or assistance than the other.
When the other person needs to dominate the conversation, an empathic listener is prepared to let that happen without interjecting his or her ego.
3. Pay genuine attention: You can’t fake this, so don’t try. It can be easy to get so lost in thinking of things to say that you forget to listen. This spells the death of empathy. Let her say what she needs to, and listen without interrupting.
4. Make open-ended, non-judgmental responses that demonstrate you were listening: Often, all it takes is for you to say to her, “That sounds difficult. I am aware of how significant your dog was to you.” In addition to giving her plenty of room to speak further, this lets her know that you are paying attention and are concerned for her.
5. Reflect on her feelings to her: Avoid saying something like, “Oh, I see. She just told you about a fight she had with her friends.” “Your friends seem to be absolute jerks, to be honest. They don’t recognize how outstanding you are.”
Even though it may not seem like it, she loves her friends, and your harsh criticism of them will ultimately come back to haunt you. It might be better to say, “It sounds like you felt disrespected by how they spoke to you.” This confirms how she is feeling without assigning blame or giving her unsolicited advice.
6. Invite her to continue. Use phrases like, “Tell me more about it,” “I’d like to hear more about that,” “How did that feel?” or “What did you do then?” to encourage her to keep sharing.
Method 3: Be Supportive
1. Ask for updates about things she mentioned before: This will demonstrate to her that you are genuinely interested in what she has to say and that you care about the things that are significant to her. Questions like “So, was your boss less of a jerk today?” “Is your mom feeling better?” and “Did you finish that book you’ve been so into” are good examples of what to ask.
2. Avoid offering solutions unless she asks for them. Talking to others about their issues is a practical way to find solutions for many men. On the other hand, many women prefer consolation to helpful advice. Your first inclination might be to suggest solutions when your girlfriend confides in you about a problem.
Prevent this. She might want to vent, which is probably all she wants. She will probably seek advice if she wants it. Until then, it’s probably a good idea to assume that all she wants is to be understood.
3. Demonstrate that you relate to what she feels: It won’t always be appropriate, but occasionally telling a story about a time when you went through a similar experience can help her feel less alone and validate her experiences. But don’t ramble on for too long. You don’t want to dominate the conversation or make it all about you.
4. Avoid invalidating her feelings: Sayings like “You’re overreacting,” “Don’t worry so much,” “You’ll feel better tomorrow,” “It’s not that bad,” and “There’s no need to get so upset” are never appropriate. Whatever she is feeling is what she is feeling, regardless of whether you think her emotional response is appropriate. Don’t undervalue or downplay her feelings. Also, don’t always count on reason.
People who are upset are frequently unreasonable because emotions are not rational things. You should demand respect in return, but you shouldn’t challenge her behaviour or offer a more reasonable solution. Later, there will be time for this. Your current task is to listen.
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