Love Is Not Enough – 5 Conversations Every Nigerian Couple Should Have

Love Is Not Enough – 5 Conversations Every Nigerian Couple Should Have

Falling in love is a beautiful thing because love is sweet; however, love is not enough. Building long-lasting relationships goes beyond late-night calls, surprise gifts and confessing one’s feelings.

When things start getting serious in a relationship, especially in Nigeria, there are certain steps that need to be taken to lay the foundation of the relationship and know how compatible both partners are.

In Nigeria, for couples that intend to take things to the next level, there are cultural expectations, family expectations and financial capabilities that must be met before some families would accept the person.

However, the most important thing is the conversation of the two individuals who will spend the rest of their lives together, because love is not enough.  I will share five conversations every Nigerian couple should have before taking things further.

Before Proposing Or saying yes, these 5 conversations need to Take Place To Prevent heartbreak in the long Run.

They include the following

1. Money And Financial Goals
2. Families, In-Laws And Boundaries
3. Faith, Lifestyle, And Values
4. Career And Life Goals
5. Love, Communication, And Conflict Resolution

Now, let’s discuss the five conversations and the questions each couple should ask themselves.

1. Money And Financial Goals

One of the biggest causes of conflict in marriages is money.  That’s why a couple needs to discuss and plan ahead, and how they are going to handle their finances. It’s not about how much is available; it’s about how to budget and use the money effectively.

Here are conversations couples need to have

• Do you prefer saving or spending
• Are you going to have a joint account, separate accounts or both
• How are we going to handle expenses, bills, and debts
• What’s our plan for big goals like owning a house, raising kids, investing, businesses, etc?

2. Families, In-Laws And Boundaries

Marriage is not just a union of two people; it involves two different families with different backgrounds, cultures and preferences.  These can cause lots of issues if some things are not addressed from the start.  For exampl,e family members are to have limited interference in the matters and decisions of couples.

Here are conversations couples need to have

• How close will our families be to our daily lives
• What is the boundary we will set for in-laws interference in our home
• How many children are we going to have, and is it immediately after the marriage
• What will happen to the differences in culture and lifestyle of our families

3. Faith, Lifestyle, And Values

In Nigeria, where families practice different religions. Faith is usually the backbone of family life. Whether christain or Muslim, there is a need for the couple to share the same faith.  Because if they share different faiths, the children will be affected, and the bond might weaken too.

Here are conversations couples need to have

• Do our beliefs and faith align
• What will we teach our children
• How strong are we spiritually
• Do we share the same values, and does our lifestyle align

4. Career And Life Goals

In Nigeria, if you are not doing business, you are either a 9-5 worker , a freelancer, or an online marketer.  The couple should consider their career goals and discuss whether they aim to live in Nigeria or abroad, whether they plan to run a business or work for someone.

Here are conversations couples need to have

• Are we open to relocation to any state or another country
• Do you want to run your own business or work in an office
• How will we support each other’s dreams and ambitions
• How are we going to invest and build wealth together

5. Love, Communication, And Conflict Resolution

Love is what wins in conflict, saves relationships and ties families together.  However, love without communication makes relationships boring and unfulfilling.

Here are questions to ask

• What does love mean to you
• How do you both handle conflict
• How do you forgive, and how long can you stay angry
• Are you comfortable discussing expectations, boundaries, and intimacy

Conclusion

Before you take your relationship to the next level, whether to an engagement, marriage or proposal, you need to have these conversations to gain clarity and set the pace for your relationship.

Love brings people together, but understanding, communication, teamwork, values and intimacy will keep them together for life.

So, as a couple, you need to have these conversations either at your date nights or at the beach together.