Dont say this to your child -8 Toxic Things Parents Say That Affects A Child
Children being the fruit of the wonm an a gift from God are expected to be loved, cherished, and respected, but the cost of parenting is exceedingly high, how easy is it to have a child?
keeping the child between the boundaries of discipline and still proving inexpendible love is sometimes most humans can’t juggle with.
A slight mistake brings about a wrong interpretation and from there on the next wayward individual is created.
Research carried out proves that a whole number of these mistakes comes in form of spoken words, not necessarily as a cause of negligence although venting out with bad expressions also contributes to the depreciating esteem of a child,
the lack of patience in dealing with wards has spewed more disadvantages that lead to dire psychological effects in the adult life of a child than anticipated.
Some of these toxic attitudes most parents have built their relationship with their children upon are;
–Excessive Use Of Offensive words towards their children
“You’re fat”, “you’re ugly”, “you’re a tad too short”, “you’re too skinny”.
Grading children based on their appearance would by time amplify their physical insecurities, their worries over seemingly meaningless things would be heightened while their self-esteem would go down the drain.
See this case study as a possible scenario at risk of being actualized;
The legs by the study of biology are said to function with the aid of the brain which as a matter of fact is the powerhouse and Cpu of the body, seconded by the spinal cord that every vertebrate rest all potential movements on… If the spinal cord happens to be defective the body is in trouble, if the spine opposes the body, the human might never have what it takes again to face society let alone stand up.
Same with the family system, every child has a biological backbone called parents meant to support them, when such parents start body shaming their wards it brings about serious emotional issues some might resolve to overthink which, of course, is the final cross bridge to depression.
some might develop anorexia at a very tender age leading to malnutrition and then death. Some just like the spine reference might defeat themselves inwardly after pondering over such demeaning words vented at them, and just like that they become anti-social, they lack that essential mechanism that enables all to face the harsh ambiance of society, “courage” , which of course was something obliterated by their parents.
–Use of Provocative questions as a response to actions
“Why are you so weird?”, “Why do you walk that way?”, “Why do you talk that way?”
Children tend to believe everything their parents say, so sarcastic questions or remarks like those may just be enough to bruise the child’s ego and make him/her believe something is wrong. Once more would uphold strength the embers of anti-socialization and what is supposed to be a source of strength and courage brings a total emotional beat down.
The child may fail to be around others during their adulthood as much discomfort and fear of being ridiculed would entrap them, and all this wouldn’t be made possible wIthout the flaws made up by their toxic parents.
-Selfish Arbitrary Wishes
“I wish you were never born”
“I wish I had an abortion”
“I regret having you”
“I wish you were a different child”.
These are examples of words parents under any circumstances should avoid saying directly or indirectly to a child, passing on this kind of hint makes the child promote the feeling that he/she was birthed by coercion not out of love and his existence is not supported by his/her parents, thus there is no need to stay alive anymore.
Such remarks are so harmful not only to children but to humans in general. It reduces their whole sense of Identity which can lead to self-harm or early depression.
“Having you is exhausting”
“It is so hard to take care of you”
‘You cost a lot”.
Don’t get carried away with the rather frivolous lifestyle of a child, words like that should be expunged from both heart, mind, and mouth of parents.
Failing to gird the tongue can make a child feel like a burden. It’ll cause them to continuously hide their needs, feelings, and problems just to avoid the wrath of their parents.
A Non-profit human care system, Reports that lack of love and attention are some of the causes that lead children to lean on stealing and hug an abusive nature.
Before having a child you should orient yourself with the responsibility and what it would take in dealing with little ones, if the cons outweigh the pros you should know that bearing children or being called Father/mother is not for you because you are physically, mentally, emotionally no ready to wield the weight of parentage.
“Why aren’t like your siblings, cousins, or other kids?.”
“The other kids are better than you.”
This is most typical among African parents, who for the love of God want their child to be the next PERFECIÓN!.
This reduces the child’s self-esteem substantially, It makes them think that they’ll never be good enough no matter how hard they try.
Making comparisons among siblings shouldn’t be a sort of reward for the “better” one. Why is that?
It only builds an unhealthy relationship between them, it promotes jealousy and resentment towards each other.
Ever heard of Cain and Abel?.
Late Camden Johnson and his brother?
Panja and Colva?
Recommended: Headaches and Migraines, any difference?
–Verbally abusive words or statements
‘You’re stupid”, “you’re a loser”, “big for nothing.”
Absolute remarks like this would damage the child in every aspect known to man.
It is of great importance that parents shouldn’t demoralize their children with words, the marching presence of time heals all wounds except heart scathes.
As a parent you might intend to sharpen your child by employing the use of vulgarity, many grow up harboring emotional traumas because of such. They come back to reward their parents handsomely for giving them a great childhood and their damped memories may just persuade them to go out all gun blazing and dish out the measure they received back their parents, hence promoting the boomerang effect.
It’s agreed upon that promises made especially to children are done for motivation.
“If you do this, I’ll buy this for you.”
“Don’t worry I’ll take you there next time.”
Failure to fulfill such promises paints you as a person not worth trusting, not only would they agree your words hold no weight, they may also carry such mentality outside believing that everybody other than themselves can’t be trusted.
You bring down the tower of trust they have in you and they would most likely start taking you for a joke.
This of course is more dangerous to the parent rather than the ward.
You’ll build a self-reliant individual that in the course of time would forget your influence in their life because your words are probably pseudo, they’ll rather take their problems to someone else or die with it.