Relationship Insecurity – 14 Signs Of Insecurity In A Relationship

Although insecurity is a term that is frequently used, it is actually a serious problem that needs to be closely monitored. Since everyone has experienced insecurity or vulnerability at some point in their lives, it is not in and of itself taboo.

However, a person can be deemed insecure if their insecurities continue over time. Therefore, while having insecure feelings does not necessarily make you insecure, persistently acting insecurely is a sign that you are.

To identify your lack of confidence, let’s first understand what being insecure means. According to the Oxford Dictionary, being insecure means having excessive insecurities and anxieties about oneself.

A strong foundation built on trust and dependability is necessary for a relationship to endure despite all obstacles, but this is challenging for insecure people.

According to the definition of insecurity, insecure people are typically overly anxious, which either causes them to be excessively proud and boastful or extremely quiet and timid.

Signs Of Insecurity

To cover up how they really feel inside, a person with self-esteem issues will either want to cower and drown in self-doubt or develop a superiority complex.

There are also characteristics that people with these characteristics would have, but it is up to you to decide whether or not you should be concerned about their behaviour. You can identify an insecure person you might consider a friend by looking for the warning signs below.

Who knows? You may even notice these symptoms in yourself. You would want to work on overcoming them in that case. Examine the signs now.

1. The Control Freak Vibe

The tendency to worry about almost everything, including matters that do not concern them, is a major indicator of insecurity. They are fixated on making sure everything is in order. They are obsessive perfectionists with irrational obsessions.

At first glance, you might assume that the person is simply being tidy or organized, but when they attempt to do the same thing in other people’s spaces without the owner’s consent, it is clear that they are simply projecting their own problems.

When you correct them, they react angrily and claim you don’t value their assistance. Try not to feel bad if you see this happening; it’s their own weakness showing, not yours.

2. Emotion Draining

Have you ever had a friend who seems to berate themselves constantly? Like, any discomfort or dissatisfaction is a sign that the world is about to end? That is literally low self-esteem speaking.

People who act this way frequently complain to elicit sympathy from others, emotionally draining their friends and family in the process. An insecure person will always seek someone to share their misery with because they are miserable.

You’ve heard the adage, “Misery loves company”? Yes, this is the same situation. After this, you might realize that all your emotional energy has been going toward being a friend’s shoulder to cry on.

3. Validation Seeking

While it is acceptable to solicit compliments occasionally or to conduct a self-evaluation with the assistance of friends and family, asking their opinion in every situation—including routine ones—is not a desirable quality.

If you or someone nearby is displaying this behaviour, some self-esteem issues may be present in small or significant amounts. This behaviour can hold people to some emotional hostage and, on the other hand, gives them the ability to hurt you, so it is best to break it.

It is a negative characteristic that shatters bonds and causes people to turn away from the exhibitor.

4. Jealous Acts

Some people would still harbour self-doubt even after receiving assurances of love, affection, and loyalty. Anyone may become insane or miserable as a result due to their fragile emotions.

No matter the type of relationship, resentment beyond mild resentment is bad. When you notice someone’s possessiveness bordering on obsession, you must confront them or end the relationship.

They could own a Lamborghini and still envy your Honda because people like this are never happy with what they have.

5. Monitoring

Another sign of insecurity is the desire to know everything about you, including your whereabouts at specific times, your plans, and the people you’ll be doing it with.

This is not a good idea, except if you’re a toddler or young child who could be in danger if left unsupervised. Because they failed to notice that someone they believed to be caring was actually abusing their concern, many people have ended up in worse situations.

Are they overly fixated on what you’re doing and how you did it, and have you seen them trying to imitate your every move? They might just be keeping an unhealthy eye on you.

6. Lack Of Support

If you have a friend who never shows up for you because they value their own interests and happiness above yours, things could get really bad for you. They won’t say it out loud, but you’ll catch hints of it in tiny details like triumphs or when you hang out with other friends.

This attitude will creep up on you, so you begin to doubt yourself unknowingly. They dislike that you are succeeding, not because they have other things to do.

7. Ever Pessimistic 

Another indication that a person lacks confidence is a half-empty attitude. They list a few setbacks in their lives and view themselves as unfortunate. They are the kind who will always downplay your issues while elevating theirs to the status of the biggest issue in the room.

They will tell you how pneumonia nearly killed them if you have the flu. When you or someone they know succeeds at the same thing they failed at, they’ll counter it with unfavourable remarks that suggest the winners didn’t deserve of the success.

Most of the time, it’s not that insecure people are evil or bad; rather, their inferiority complex prevents them from simply realizing that it’s acceptable to be upbeat and positive.

8. Social Media Police 

When a friend or partner policies you online, that should be a big red flag that they are insecure. They know every update you make on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all your other social media accounts.

In addition, they criticize or make derogatory remarks about what you said or posted online. They go so far as to interpret your silence.

9. Chameleon-Like 

This is a bipolar type of sign where a person may display various attitudes toward others in the same circumstance. This behaviour typically results from an attempt to win someone over by showing them how much you can benefit from them.

10. Secretive

Be wary of those who, despite your trust, withhold so much of themselves from you. They say they don’t want to talk about it, but it’s possible that their insecurities are what keep them from sharing their opinions.

Such people might even find it difficult to make eye contact because they think you can tell how they are feeling just by looking at them.

You might not be negatively impacted immediately, but a strong relationship cannot survive in the shadows.

11. Obsessiveness

Too much of anything is bad, so you should be cautious when someone gives you more attention than is necessary or appropriate.

It is a sign of low self-worth when someone agrees with everything you do or imitates every move you make.

12. Playing The Blame-Game

Someone with low self-esteem enjoys blaming others rather than accepting responsibility for their actions. They’ll happily admit when someone else is wrong but never own up to their mistakes, injustices, or errors.

13. Attention Seekers 

Attention-seeking is a sign that should be enjoyed by babies and young children rather than adults. A clear indication that someone may be insecure is if they constantly want to be at the centre of things, to be heard and seen at all times.

It’s crucial to understand that you don’t have to be the centre of attention to shine, but for some insecure people, this concept is difficult to accept.

14. Self-Exalting And Absorbed 

This is a further sign exhibited by attention-seeking individuals. Beyond seeking attention, they are selfish; they manipulate situations to suit their purposes and don’t care much about how other people feel. They feel they are the most important and call it self-confidence.